It wouldn't be a real adventure if there weren't moments to look back on and laugh about. Sure, I woke up to puke dripping on my face in Sapa, Vietnam and I drunkenly lost my camera in Vang Vieng, Laos which caused a little tears and a lot of laughter, but I feel like this one really takes the cake.

I was feeling really proactive when I got Chiang Rai and made hostel bookings in Chiang Mai and Pai. Most booking.com bookings are completely cancelable, so I didn't think anything of booking a two night stay in Pai for the 14th & 15th. If I wanted to stay in Chiang Mai longer, I could just move the booking... But naturally, this particular hotel had its own cancellation policy and cancelling within 7 days meant they took full payment anyways. It was only 300 baht (less than US$10) so it would have been nothing to cancel, but it was kind of the principal of the thing, I also knew I would be back in Chiang Mai in July and wanted to make it to Phichit this weekend, as my childhood friend Andrew teaches English there and only has the weekends off. So I decided to go for it & rush to Pai to avoid losing my booking. I applied for my Myanmar visa at the embassy in Chiang Mai in the morning, paid extra to have it processed same day and then spent the day hanging out with some cat friends at Catmosphere. I got my passport back and caught the last minibus to Pai.

We got in at about 9:30pm and I was starving, but decided to drop my bags at the hostel before finding dinner. Naturally, the hostel was unmarked and you had to walk behind a restaurant to find it. I strolled up to a pavilion where a few people were hanging out, smoking (Pai is all about drugs and hanging) and playing cards. They laughed at my confusion and told me that I was in the right place and just needed to ring a buzzer and someone from the hostel would come out and sort my check in. I rang the buzzer every 5-10 minutes but nobody was coming.

I sat down to play cards with a few people and was silently freaking out, but I just kept telling myself "This is just how they do things in Pai, just roll with it". At one point, I asked the restaurant if they knew where the owner was and they promised to call him. When I went back to ask how it went, they said in broken English, "He didn't answer his phone. Maybe he go to Chiang Mai today? You come back tomorrow". More panic on my end. One of the guys I was playing cards with calmed me down by saying "Well if he doesn't show up, we can let you into the dorms and you can sleep in an empty bed and sort it out tomorrow". Cool.

I'm also getting outrageously hungry & hangry in all of this because it's 11pm and the restaurant is now closed. After I lose the card game, I go to stalk out a bed... And realize that the entire hostel is full. Not a single empty bed anywhere. Oh shit.

So I set out to find another place to stay and everywhere is closed. We're not talking about Holiday Inns with 24hr reception desks. These places are all boutique hostels/hotels which lock the front doors after a certain hour and the owners go to sleep. It's pitch black, so I'm not about to wander aimlessly through the dark streets alone, so I stick to the main drag which is mostly bars/restaurants and very much closed hotels. I finally find a hotel attached to a convenience store and ask for a room. Naturally, they're full but she has a "sister" who owns a "very nice" hotel down the road. She calls & wakes up her sister (it's now 11:30pm) who comes to get me on her motorbike in her pajamas. The woman couldn't point to the hotel on a map so now I start thinking that this is a scam and I'm going to get robbed or sold into the sex trade if I get on the back of this motorbike. But what other choice did I have??

Now I'm on the back of this motorbike with my 15kg pack on my back trying desperately not to fall off. Obviously I've never met this lady before, so I can't hold onto her too tight for support, which means an inner thigh workout, but my legs are WRECKED from the elephant riding. I'm starving, exhausted and speeding through the streets of Pai desperate clenching the bike with my screaming thighs, unsure if I'm riding to a hotel or the end of my existence.

As you might have gathered, I'm still alive. The woman was lovely and took me to a private bungalow which was only US$8.52. Sure the hot water & wifi didn't work and there were bugs everywhere, but it had a bed, a mosquito net and a door that locked, so that's a win by SE Asis standards. I didn't cry, but I kind of wanted too, especially when I woke up even hungrier at 3am.

I went back to the original hostel this morning to try and figure out what happened, but the staff didn't speak a bit of English. No understanding and no sympathy from them, but at least I have a bed and a key to stay tonight...